Project: Brother of mine
by Siffie the third
Summary: First chapter: Broken Promises...
1. Broken Promises

**Broken promises**

**

* * *

**

"I'm sorry."

Sai bend down and put a hand on the small boy's shoulder in an effort to comfort him, to stop the beginnings of tears from falling from the big, sad eyes. He wasn't succeeding very well. The small boy's lips trembled.

"I am _so_ sorry…" he tried again. "…I know how much you were looking forward to today." He smiled sadly. The boy's teary features were doing a number on him. He almost felt like crying himself but managed to pull it together and try and console the boy instead. "I'll make it up to you…" The boy gripped at his arm with desperate fingers. "But you promised!" his tiny and broken voice accused. Sai sighed heavily, got down on his knees and wrapped the boy up in a tight embrace. "I know I did. I know." He whispered. The boy shook with uncontrollable tremors and started crying for real.

His baby brother had always been loud in every way whether happy or angry or like now, the saddest creature in existence. His wails filled the air and crashed against the walls inside their little house like waves from a broken dam. He praised himself lucky it was already half past eight and most of the neighbours were probably well away from home…probably. Their parents at least had already left for work. The boy should also have been to school by now if it hadn't been for their plans for the day. Plans there were now utterly destroyed.

"Hikaru…" Sai whispered with an inkling of an idea in mind. The boy quieted down a little, whether from his tone of voice or just to hear him more easily, Sai didn't know.

"I…what do you say I drop you off at school for a little while, while I solve this? It is probably just a mistake in the schedule. I'll fix it. I'll go there and figure it out, see? - and afterwards we can spend the rest of the day just like you want. How does that sound?" He pulled the boy out from him and searched his red blemished face for a positive. The boy hiccupped and rubbed his eyes with the back of his small hands.

"You promise?" asked his childish voice with a speck of hope after giving Sai a sceptical once-over. Sai grimaced. He wasn't entirely sure he could pull it off. The association didn't always look too kindly on last-minute changes but since he honestly didn't know how this had happened, he was pretty sure it was a mistake from their side. He was **absolutely** positive he had asked for this day off…almost.

He sighed as the light of hope faded from the boy's eyes. "I will honestly try, little one. I'm just not sure how well it will go, but I **will** try!" Sai said with conviction.

The boy looked away and pulled out of his grasp. "And you'll be back?" he asked dejected. The quiet of the voice unnerved Sai. It was _sooo_ unnatural. "Yes! I'll pick you up again when everything is settled. I'll be back as soon as possible." He reassured and squished the boy's hand to make sure his point got through. The boy shot him a careful look and then smiled. It was a watery smile at best but a smile nonetheless.

"It'll work out somehow." Sai mumbled and he wasn't sure if he was reassuring himself or his little kid brother.

* * *

Hikaru was never sad for long, so then Sai led him to his classroom at the school and explained things to the teacher, he was all smiles and laughter and within the blink of an eye emerged in the other children's game. Sai smiled gratefully and left with a slightly easier heart. Now for the hard part: to try and move a mountain.

Sai looked up at the building in front of him and sighed.

According to the phone call earlier and the rechecking of his schedule afterwards he should have been here ten minutes ago. The only reason he wasn't panicked and rushing for the doors was that this shouldn't even have happened. So it was a slightly more subdued and determined Sai that entered the building and went for the reception in long graceful strides.

The receptionist smiled at him and started rambling: "Fujiwara-sensei! I'm so glad you could make it! We were just about to…" – "Why do I have a class today?" Sai interrupted with great effort and shuddered at himself for being rude. "I have specifically asked for this day off, so why is it not?"

The receptionist actually looked stunned. For one Sai didn't look happy at being there, which had never occurred in all the time the receptionist had seen him enter those doors. For another…

"But Fujiwara-sensei…" The receptionist hesitated. Sai's eyes shone with almost the same gleam as when he was playing. He felt like shivering under that gaze. "…Fujiwara-sensei didn't reject then we suggested to put the class up for today. We asked you last week." He consoled and breathed a bit easier then the gaze shifted to the floor instead.

"Is there any way to change it?" Fujiwara-sensei asked without looking up. "Any way at all? Some other Pro to take my place? – _Cancellation_?"

The receptionist could explicitly hear the barely hidden horror on the last word. It was indeed an unthinkable and never voiced before action for the young high-dan. "There is no other Pro we can summon on such a short notice and as for…cancellation…" The receptionist looked through some random papers to give Sai the chance to compose himself from a second mention of the word.

"…I simply can't see how we can tell all those people that they have come for naught."

The receptionist glanced up just in time to catch the anger? and determination deflate from the young man with a resigned sigh. "It's for two hours, right?" Sai asked instead and the receptionist nodded. Sai looked at the clock in the hall. It was a quarter past nine. "Could you call Hikaru's school for me and tell them I wont be able to be there until a little before twelve?" – "Will do." The receptionist replied happily and picked up the receiver. Anything to get the young Pro to his students without further delay.

He didn't catch the mumblings of the young Pro as he moved on to the class. "Just for two hours, Hikaru. We'll still have half a day…"

Then the receptionist two hours later took a look inside the room where the class was held, he couldn't help but smile.

Fujiwara Sai was obviously engrossed in an animated discussion of one of the games and enjoying it whole-heartedly. The surrounding students was a pleasant mixture of young and old, either following the antics of the Pro in quiet fondness or barely concealed awe. Neither seemed to remember that the class had already ended twenty minutes ago.

The receptionist shrugged his shoulders and left again unnoticed. He wasn't one to interrupt people's happiness, especially when it came to Pros and their games, and the association had ever since the first time made sure there was at least an hour to spare for everyone following Fujiwara-sensei's classes. His love and dedication for the game captivated people just so.

The receptionist went back to his desk and looked up a number in one of the personal files. He better straighten things out with the Pro's family and make sure that someone else could pick up the younger brother from school, and as far as he knew the mother should be off from work shortly. He was used to taking care of people's schedule and make sure no one was left behind when one of the more eccentric Pros forgot the time.

It was his job after all.

* * *

Sai looked at the time in passing going through the hall and froze in place.

It took all of five seconds for his mind to register why the innocent numbers sent such an unnerving sense of foreboding down his spine.

When the realisation hit him it took him less to reach over the counter at the reception and grab for the phone.

He scared several people out of their skin but at that particular moment it didn't matter. It would disturb him later on for sure but right then only one thought was in his mind. 'Hikaru'.

The phone rang all of three times on the other end, which was three times too many. When his mother's voice finally reached his ears he sighed with somewhat pleasant relief.

"The Shindou residence." – "Where is Hikaru?" He asked without introduction and unable to keep a worried tremor from his voice. "Is he alright? Did he get home from school alright? Is he angry with me?" – "Sai." His mother sighed out in a breath and he forced himself to calm down. "Hikaru is fine, Sai, and yes, he was angry with you…" He was about to interrupt with a string of apologies but his mother obviously sensed it. "…**but** I've finally managed to calm him down, so use that famous patience of yours and wait at least an hour before coming home and get him screaming again."

Sai gulped. However teasingly his mother had phrased it he didn't miss the displeasure in her tone. "Are you sure?" he asked nearly begging. "There is still time left. I could still take him to the park or something…" he trailed off knowing her silence for what it was, unyielding resolution. When their silence together had lasted long enough for the guilt to settle firmly in his stomach, she spoke again.

"I sent him to play with Akari. It will keep him occupied for the time being. I suggest you find out a way to make up for this."

Sai nodded even though the click from her dismissal had already sounded through the receiver. It took him half a minute more before he released the phone and slowly backed away from the counter.

He felt like crying again.

However, he couldn't do that here, just as less as he could have done it in front of Hikaru in the morning. Maybe, when he got to bed tonight he could let the tears fall for his own foolishness.

How did you make up for lost time?

* * *

"Hikaruuu..!"

Sai whined pitifully.

It was evening and Sai had now resorted to all out begging. The boy however, wasn't giving a butch. He sat stubbornly with square shoulders and stiff back in the middle of his room looking defiantly away from the older brother.

"Hikaru, please! Can't we at least play a game?"

People at the association would have made wide eyes at the usually composed Pro's crumbled form at a child's feet. It was hard to imagine that this was the well-mannered and slightly otherworldly being that haunted the inner halls of the association with his cutting and ruthless game. However, this total drop of shields and barriers was reserved only for the inner sanctum that was the Shindou household and no one would ever know any better.

"Please" Sai begged again a little more subdued and almost despondent. The boy huffed, still very successful in **not** looking at the downhearted Sai.

"Is there not anything I can do for you to forgive me? Anything." Sai chanced a look at the boy's face to see if the words would somehow make him give in. He thought he saw a small glimmer of…something in those green orbs but when they turned to evil calculation and he shuddered involuntarily. Children could be cruel at times and his kid brother had even happily proven it before. "Can we play?" He whispered and even allowed a little hope to shine through in an effort to stop the boy's plotting.

The green eyes fleeted shortly in his direction, a decision forming. "No." The child ground out.

Sai almost choked on thin air, his lungs refusing to cooperate in the face of the horror.

"Hikaruu.."

It was the most pitiful and defeated whine yet, the sound of a wounded animal.

"No!" the boy all but shouted this time and rose to his feet. "I won't play that game with you! It's an old man's game anyway and only fun for you!" He accused all worked up now.

Sai was shocked and stumbled to his feet trying to at least get the advantage of height before the glowering boy. The small boy pushed at him and Sai didn't resist in being moved out of the room. If he hadn't been so shocked he would actually have found it quite funny.

The boy disappeared shortly collecting something from the corner of his room. The second after Sai had been forced beyond the trespass of the room, a small foldable children's version of a board was shoved in his arm along with a bag of chinking stones. Some stones freed themselves from the not quite closed bag and fell to the floor with a rattle. The boy locked his burning green eyes with Sai's stunned ones.

"I'm not playing with you ever again!" Then the door slammed close, sending a roar through the house.

"Hikaru!" The voice of their mother sounded warningly from downstairs. She didn't have to second-guess who made that kind of noise. Somehow only the six-year-old was capable of slamming the doors in the house with a force that resounded so loud it was deafening. The boy didn't even hear her though. He had already buried himself in the covers of his bed with the clear intend of not going anywhere until the next day.

Sai stood before the closed door unmoving.

He was unable to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

'Hikaru won't play me..?'

The thought was incomprehensible.

In the end he just turned to his own room after carefully collecting the fallen stones. He put the board and bag away in the upper drawer in his desk with thoughts of keeping it safe till his kid brother wanted them back. When he crawled to bed himself, entirely crushed from the last straw of a very bad day. A day that never in a thousand years was supposed to have gone so horrible wrong.

Sai let his tears loose, quietly crying himself to sleep. Neither of the brothers were non the wiser that the other were doing the same.


	2. To see

I would like to start out with saying thanks to lalunaticscribe, lovelymokona and Seithr-Kairy for their kind reviews. To those of you who wonder at the same thing as Seithr-Kairy: Yes, there is a reason for the 'confusion' in Sai's last name and it will be explained eventually.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own characters or story of Hikaru no Go - and the idea of Sai and Hikaru being brothers I got from reading...yeah, you can probably guess...other's fanfiction on the subject. I'm not even sure I own this story, 'cause it is definitely taking its' own pathways. I have simply settled for being the guide of this curious child.

* * *

**To see...  
**

* * *

Hikaru was looking at the faces of his family through his newly bleached bangs with anticipation. He had chosen the day carefully and saved every little coin of yen from his allowance to pull it off.

His father had for once one of his shorter working days and Sai wasn't cooped up playing games with the other Pros, so they were having a family dinner for the first time in a while. Now he awaited the result of his daring action.

And waited…

The three of them seemed quite speechless. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought the father to have had a heart-attack…standing. The mother didn't seem much better off. Actually, she was clutching at her heart with white fingers so she was probably on her way to one. Sai just stood.

Finally his father heaved in a squashed breath like he had forgotten how to and spoke with stunned disbelieve: "What have you done to you hair?"

'Oh,' Hikaru thought pleased 'just what I was going for.' He could even recognize a speck of anger in the father's eyes. Aloud he said: "Bleached my hair. What does it look like?" He followed up with a beaming smile and knew the mischief was shining in his eyes.

"W-why?" His mother sounded completely lost on just that one word.

He allowed himself to stray from the father and look at her. She seemed more worried than actually mad but that worked for him too. "'Cause I felt like it."

"You…" his father began threateningly and he awaited the explosion and demand for him to go back to the hairdresser's and change it back. He actually got as far as squaring his shoulders readying to fight him on it.

"I think it suits you." Sai's voice interrupted calmly.

Hikaru looked up. Sai was smiling one of those serene smiles and looking at him with a fondness reserved only for his little brother.

Hikaru gulped. "What?" He didn't believe his own ears.

"I like it. It looks good on you…" Sai went on "…It fits you perfectly. - Goes with your clothes." and the smile widened.

Hikaru looked away in an attempt to hide his surprise and displeasure. If Sai wouldn't even react properly to his plot, the whole thing had been for naught!

"Well…" their mother said, sounding slightly uneasy "…let's eat."

The father grunted: "Alright, but you are not getting any allowance the next month, young man! That might teach you to at least talk to us before you go and do something like that!"

That was the only reprimand Hikaru got and he sighed heavily not the least bit happy but he couldn't think of anything to do about it. Sai's intervention had obviously calmed all sides.

* * *

Hikaru wasn't by any means starting the rebellious teenage years early like his father thought or his mother worried about. He just liked a good challenge and…surprising people. Accidently in this event it had been both.

He had thought about for awhile how best to stump his family members with a big surprise and his idea of getting a new hairstyle had been perfect for it. Or maybe it had been the other way around. He wasn't exactly sure. It was always a challenge to surprise the members in his family, especially at once. They knew him too well. Sai in particular knew him way too well if his calm reaction was anything to go by.

Actually, Hikaru had had his fair share of trouble recently surprising the older brother in any way, which annoyed him to no end. Hikaru didn't like being annoyed.

He considered fleetingly asking Sai for a game just to see the calm features in his face crack in complete surprise and astonishment but hurriedly buried the idea in the deepest and darkest corner of his mind. One thing Hikaru never! ever! **did** was showing interest in or playing Go. – At least not in the presence of Sai.

He didn't remember anymore, why that was. Every time Sai turned up looking like someone about to ask a certain question, Hikaru left the room before he could open his mouth. Every time Sai had visitors from the association, Hikaru made a play about being the least interested person in existence.

– And every time Sai came home showing a new edition of the paper 'Weekly Go' or another Go-related magazine, Hikaru waited patiently till nightfall or even later before sneaking a peek at aforementioned papers. He waited even longer for those same papers to be put in a corner of the basement, before going back to them, scissor in hand, and collecting Kifus of Sai's games or other's of interest. It was a bit peculiar he admitted to himself. Especially since he mostly didn't comprehend the Kifus all too well, but it made him feel at ease and gave him something to look at when he was bored with homework or any of his other hobbies.

Hikaru might not remember what lay behind these actions but he remembered a promise and promises…he kept.

* * *

One month later Hikaru surprised his family again but this time quite unintentionally and to his own begrudging dismay.

He hadn't counted on **two** months worth of allowance going out the window and this time around there wasn't any saving Sai to calm the waters. Sai was just as outraged as their father, maybe even more so. Sai had a thing for 'social studies'.

"Stupid test." Hikaru grumbled to himself while roaming his grandfather's attic in search for anything worthwhile.

Behind him at the top of the stairs Akari stood hesitantly. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" She sounded slightly frightened and shuffled her feet in a nervous manner. "Why don't you just study a little?"

He froze up but not due to her suggestion and answered only absentmindedly: "I've got things to buy."

The thing, which had caught his attention, was impressive in all its old glory. He was careful in picking it up and freeing it from its shelter. The wood was heavy and dark with age but still very well-preserved. Gently he let his fingers caress the black lines that ran across the top of the board.

"What is it?" Akari asked, her nervousness shortly forgotten.

"A Goban" he replied, unaware of the slight awe in his voice and unsure of the twinge in his stomach at the sight. He knew Gobans. Had seen several, two being Sai's, but no one as nice as this one. He wondered why his grandfather didn't use it.

Hikaru shuddered and hurriedly put the old thing back in place. "Let's go!" he uttered and took to the stairs with a big rumble.

"Wait up!" Akari shouted after him, as always angry at the suddenness of his action and being left behind. He laughed out loud and forgot his earlier uneasiness in seconds.

Akari went home ahead of him. She had an apology ready when his grandfather started making vague enquiries towards playing.

Hikaru had not. No one was home but his mother and he figured she had went for shopping or something. She hadn't specifically asked for him to be home before dinner and he wasn't sure if he wanted to. So he stayed and let his grandfather talk him into a single game.

He couldn't remember when the last time had been he had held the stones in between his fingers. He felt slightly awkward and fiddled around with them until his fingers started remembering the feeling. He sighed. The feeling from the attic was back. He rubbed his arm in an effort to make it go away and studied the garden instead of the board in front of him. He hadn't promised to pay attention anyway. His grandfather grumbled something indistinct and Hikaru placed a stone.

His grandfather sighed: "Hikaru."

Hikaru looked at the old man a bit surprised. The old Shindou was strict when it came to Go and silence through a game was a rule. A rule Hikaru had had a hard time coping with but he had learned it nevertheless.

He raised an eyebrow in silent inquiry but his grandfather wasn't looking. The old eyes were on the board and the stones. "What do you feel about Go?" Now the eyes looked up and Hikaru was startled. His grandfather's eyes were piercing and not a little unnerving.

Hikaru laughed a nervous laughter and leaned back casually. "Feel? It's just a game and an old man's game at that. Should I feel anything?" he tried to dismiss the question no one had asked him before. However, his grandfather kept staring and he avoided his eyes and played with the stones in the Goke, wishing he had gone home instead. No one in his family was supposed to know of his interest and that included the grandparents. They would just tell Sai.

"So you dislike it then?" his grandfather's voice reached his ears.

He couldn't help himself. He looked up in startled outrage at the implication.

His grandfather smiled wickedly. "You don't." It wasn't a question.

Hikaru growled: "What does it matter?"

It was his grandfather's time to raise an eyebrow. The old man placed a stone with slow obviousness. "Play me properly. No inattention, no bogus. Just you and the game."

Hikaru looked at the played stone, his brain roaming with hands to play next. "No" he ground out with a bite "You'll tell Sai" he reasoned further.

His grandfather shook his head. "I wont."

Hikaru looked at him sceptically. "I don't believe you" he finally said and started to get up, fully intended on going home.

"If you leave I **will** ask Sai about it."

Hikaru froze. His grandfather was grinning. Hikaru sank to the floor again searching the pattern on the board and reaching for a stone in his Goke.

"Evil old man" he grumbled.

"I'm home!" Hikaru shouted, closing the door behind him and dropping his shoes on the floor before venturing to his room. His mother's welcome sounded faintly through the cooking noises in the kitchen.

Hikaru dropped his bag unceremoniously on the floor. He looked at his bookcase, which showed a big variety of mangas, some games and a few easy-to-read-novels. One single shelf was reserved for his schoolbooks and he shot it a nasty look. He reached for the mangas on the bottom shelf.

"Hikaruuu" Sai's voice echoed from the stairs.

Hikaru shot away from the shelves and recollected his bag from the floor.

A knock, and his door opened hesitantly. "May I enter?"

Hikaru shrugged and placed the bag on his bed instead. Sai ventured inside and closed the door quietly. "Hikaru."

Hikaru cringed and looked up at his brother warily. Sai sounded more serious than usually.

Sai smiled gently, which didn't do much to ease him. "I have decided to help you with your homework and…social studies in particular." he dropped the bomb with the same gentle smile.

"What!" Hikaru burst out.

Sai ignored him easily. "Well, you need it and even though I haven't been of much help before…I guess I have been kind of consumed with Go…" he actually managed to look apologetic "…I am quite decent with the classes you have trouble with! I wont allow something like that…_thing_…" Hikaru watched in amazement as Sai's face took a disturbed look at the thought of his recently failed test. "…yesterday happen again! Are we clear?"

Hikaru watched big-eyed for a moment at Sai's wild shining eyes and then nodded. "Okay."

Sai looked confused at that. "You are saying yes? To me tutoring you?" he asked perplexed.

Hikaru nodded again. "Yeah. I guess I could use some help." Secretly he was relieved and reprimanded himself. Sai hadn't come to him for Go. The visit at his grandfather had ruffled him a great deal and put him on edge. He needed to calm down.

Sai smiled happily. "Great! Let's get to work!"

"What? Now!"

* * *

"Goodnight." Sai said before disappearing from his room.

Hikaru groaned in reply and stretched his arms high over head. He cast a long, wary look on the amount of paper and books on his desk and groaned again. Sai was definitely disturbing! They had only taken a break to get dinner and now Hikaru felt like his head was going to explode. – And he had said yes to this! Whatever had he been thinking?

Hikaru slumped in the chair and just stared. "Hikaru! Get to bed." the voice of his mother reached him and got him working again. He jumped up and glanced briefly at the bookcase in passing. He grinned. At least he didn't have to feel guilty about doing something else entirely before falling asleep.

Back in his room again Hikaru listened intently to the sounds in the house before going for the bottom shelf again.

He reached down behind the mangas, withdrew a worn-looking book and leaned back against the end of the bed. He flipped through the pages until he found the section he wanted and then settled to read the part for the maybe hundredth time.

This little piece of treasure was the lonely survivor of the years-back-massacre on Go-related stuff belonging to his room.

He didn't know how much stuff he had trashed or thrown after his older brother but some time after that he had found the book hidden among the books on his bottom shelf and he had let it be.

It was a gift after all. His first Go-book ever, given to him by Sai when he was four. What Sai had been thinking giving a four-year-old a book written mainly in kanjis, Hikaru didn't know. He didn't even care either. He could read it now and so did. The explanations, the Go-problems and the games in the book had gotten him started again and kept his interest for several more years than he had ever cared for anything else all together.

He flipped a page and winched slightly then the spine barely stuck together under the force. He wasn't good at taking care of his things. He dwelled at that thought for a while. Maybe it was time to get himself another Go-book. A more difficult one. One with explanations on Kifus and harder problems, maybe even written by a Professional player…? Hikaru nodded to himself while skimming the rest of the section. It might be a good idea. He knew this by heart anyway. – And then he was back at his original problem for the month, no money…he grinded his teeth.

Hikaru closed the book carefully and put it back in its hiding place.

He crawled into bed and grabbed down underneath it to his second hiding place, an indifferent looking box. He dragged it out and moved the upper layer of old toys to the side so he could get to the good stuff, his collection of Kifus. He found one of Sai's old ones and started tracing the stone patterns, trying once again to understand this other world his older brother was living in.

* * *

**Author's note**: Actually the chapter of 'To see or be seen' is quite a bit longer than this but this was such a natural place to stop. - And this part is the same length as 'Broken promises', so it fits :)  
I have quite a bit of trouble keeping Hikaru acting his age and I'm not sure if I have succeeded. Let me know if I haven't.

One last thing: I haven't had this beta-read or corrected by anyone, and since I'm a perfectionist in writing I would appreciate correction on any errors you might spot. Ultimately with an explanation, so I can learn and get better :)


	3. or be seen

(**8th of February**) Spotted a horrible mistake and fixed it (missing words around a period making the sentences all hacked up. It was plain embarrassing.)

**Disclaimer**: Still only the guide on this. I own nothing but a writing style.

* * *

**…****or…**

* * *

Hikaru was wandering the streets on his way from school.

There had been a surprise test again today and he had actually known the answers to quite a few questions, so it had been surprising on more levels than one. Sai's help apparently **had** helped and what better way to celebrate than playing a little Go? He looked around searching for a specific sign and found it. His face lit up. This might be fun.

Hikaru entered the room a little nervous. He had never been to this kind of place before. At least not as far as he remembered. He looked around and felt his heart drop a little, only old geezers… - Oh well, he could ignore it this time around.

"Welcome!" the woman at the reception said happily.

"Hi" he bowed slightly "…can anyone play here?"

"Sure," she smiled "just write your name here. Is it your first time?"

He took the offered pencil. "Sort of," he shot her a grin in an attempt to hide his nervousness "haven't been at a Go-salon before. How does it work?"

She offered him a comforting smile and pointed to the room in its entirety. "You can ask anyone in here to play you. I'm sure no one will say no."

He looked around closer this time and spotted surprisingly a boy around his own age. "Oh, there's a boy here too!" he exclaimed before his hand clamped down on his mouth. The boy turned his head in something looking like alarm. "Sorry." Hikaru mumbled, looking at the woman in worry. Why couldn't he just be quiet?

She smiled "That's alright. It will be 500 yen, the child's fare."

"Oh…" Hikaru stiffened and searched his pockets, knowing full well he didn't have a single yen on him. He cursed himself for forgetting his predicament. "…I'm sorry," he shot her a sheepish look "I don't have any money, so I guess…" He felt his face going red with embarrassment.

"It's his first time right, Ichikawa-san? He can play for free this time?" A child's voice offered from behind. Hikaru turned abruptly.

The woman, Ichikawa-san, answered lovingly: "Of course Akira-kun. If you say so."

Hikaru looked between the two and couldn't believe his own luck. "Thanks!" he remembered to utter in the last second and bowed for the woman again.

Then he turned to the room completely. He felt a little lost. How to pick an opponent?

Hikaru noticed the curious stare from the other boy and looked back with equal curiosity. "I'm Shindou Hikaru. Thanks for before."

The boy bowed in greeting. "Touya Akira. Nice to meet you and don't mention it. It was nothing. This is my father's place."

"Oh." Hikaru shifted on his feet. He had heard of Touya, **the** Touya Meijin. Sai had talked about him often enough. He took a swift decision. "Let's play!"

The boy seemed stunned at the suggestion but smiled nonetheless in acceptance. "Okay, follow me."

Hikaru looked around curiously while following the lead. The old men glanced up from their games and took a moment to look him over. He noticed how some of them snickered but disregarded it easily. He was starting to look forward to the game.

"How many stones do you wish to put down?" the boy, 'Touya' Hikaru reminded himself, asked conversantly.

"Huh?" Hikaru thought about it and shrugged his shoulders. "Why should I? We are both children after all."

Touya shot him an incredulous look but Hikaru ignored that too. Just because you had a Pro in your family didn't necessarily mean you played or was good at it yourself. Hikaru was the living proof of that. He gave the boy his most daring look. "You take black." Touya actually sounded like it was an order. Hikaru accepted the Goke.

"Well…" Hikaru looked at the board and grinned. "…You win. I guess I could have used a stone or two."

It was an understatement. Even though he had fought tooth and nail to keep up through the middle game, the loss had been pretty obvious in Yose. However, he had never been one to give up. He laughed happily and got up from the seat. He felt exhilarated. "It was fun. Thank you for the game."

Touya didn't respond immediately and Hikaru frowned at him. He accepted the barely heard "thank you" nevertheless and took the following silence as his cue to leave.

"How was it?" the woman at the counter asked. He was still grinning widely.

"Fun!" he responded, for once completely open about it. "…beats reading and studying – though I tend to loose…" Her responding smile to his grimace got him laughing again and he scratched the back of his head a little embarrassed.

"If you're interested there's a children's tournament next week. They can be fun to watch." The woman gave him a piece of paper from a pile on the counter.

He regarded it dubiously while turning to the door. "eh, thanks. I might take a look. Bye."

"Goodbye. Hope to see you again." Her voice sounded before the door closed him off.

Hikaru fumbled with the paper where it in obvious letters said: Children's Go-tournament. This was problematic. The obvious solution was to throw it out but he actually liked the thought of going and he would just forget the date if he didn't have the reminder. He grumbled to himself and stopped it in his pocket unceremoniously.

* * *

Hikaru entered the kitchen an early evening a few days later stretching his sore muscles from a rough afternoon. Sai was sitting at the table reading a magazine, a new one Hikaru noted.

"How was practise?" Sai asked looking up. Hikaru didn't bother answering. He went for a drink in the refrigerator and froze mid step.

"What is that?" He pointed an accusing finger at the slightly crumbled paper displayed on the refrigerator's front. In one frantic moment he went through several scenarios in which the paper could have gotten from his pocket to the refrigerator.

"Mother found it." Sai answered unfazed. "I am thinking about going if my study-group ends early. Care to join me?" He continued in an even voice. As if he didn't care for the answer.

Hikaru's reaction was born from a long line of determined rejections and came in an almost automatic anger. "Not even if hell freezes over!"

Sai's flinch was minimalistic but Hikaru saw it nonetheless. He huffed and bolted from the kitchen. It stung, hurting Sai…and why was he lying again?

When the day came around for the tournament Hikaru was 'spying' on Sai's study-group.

Sai didn't have visitors from the association that often but once in a while he let one of the study-groups be at their house. Hikaru was sitting just outside the room they had occupied, nervously listening in and looking at the clock constantly. The tournament was starting up by now. He was waiting for a chance to catch Sai and…he wasn't exactly sure what he wanted yet. This was a plan in development.

Sai was saying goodbye and Hikaru gathered himself, ignoring the people passing him on their way out. "Hikaru? What are you doing here?" Sai was the last to leave the room and seemed surprised at the sight of him.

"I…I…I will go with you…to that tournament, that is…Not because I want to, 'cause I don't! – But as a thank you…for helping me…study…" Hikaru didn't dare look at Sai while he stumbled his way through the words so he jumped a little in surprise then a hand laid itself gently upon his shoulder.

Sai bend down to his eye-level. "If you don't want to go, you don't have to force yourself."

Hikaru shot him an angry look. "Well, it worked and I haven't actually thanked you for it. I'm going!"

Sai sighed but obviously couldn't help himself from grinning in delight. "Okay then, let's go."

Hikaru couldn't exactly call the afternoon at the tournament enjoyable.

He spend half of it pretending he wasn't watching any games and the other half pretending to be bored out of his mind. It wasn't because Sai was around him all that much but he was constantly afraid that the Pro would pop up out of nowhere and find out about him. By the time they went home Hikaru was a nervous wreck. Sai was blabbering on and on about how much fun it had been and Hikaru smiled. Despite all the trouble, he had been able to watch several games and learn a bit too. Hikaru decided it had been worth it.

* * *

"She's not here!" Hikaru shouted loudly and scared the surrounding people several feet into the air. A mother ushered her child to hurry past him but Hikaru was all too furious to care about trivial matters like that, not to say notice. He might not even have cared anyway. How dared she invite him and then **not** be here! – Admittedly, he had turned her down but that was no reason to dump him!

Hikaru stomped his way into the ground of the school-festival of Haze junior high and slowly calmed down taking in the sights. The smell of takoyaki got his stomach rumbling but, as he had been forced to getting used to this latest month, buying anything was out of the picture. – And then his eyes fell upon the ever returning kanji of Go and all thoughts of money and food left his mind.

The stand was nothing but a simple table with a Goban and a bespectacled boy playing an old man. He closed in on them, unable to keep is own curiosity in check.

Oh, they were doing life-and-death problems? He watched as the old man failed to kill off white and looked at the assembly of things beside the Goban. What a weird collection of stuff: tissues, cans, pencils and…a Go-book. "Tsumego by Touya Meijin?" he mumbled wheels turning.

"Yes, you can win the book as a price if you solve a problem." the boy at the Goban explained.

Hikaru considered it. It would get him a new book and for free nonetheless. He grinned. "Okay. Can I try?"

"Sure" the boy replied and put up stones.

Hikaru took one look and grinned even wider. This was easy. The tissues he received for his effort though didn't make him happy. "That's not the book! Give me a harder one." he pressed on.

The boy looked a bit surprised but complied, gently adding the level of the problem. Hikaru didn't bother listening. He solved it faster than the first one just to get it over with. He wanted that book. Once again the price wasn't the book. Hikaru shot the boy a glare and felt a little satisfaction at making him jump in his seat.

He pointed to the book beside them. "What do I have to do to get that one? Solve the hardest one you got?"

The boy squirmed and then put on a determined face turning the pages in his book. "That would be on the level of Touya Akira."

"Fine. Let me have it." Hikaru burst out before registering the actual name. Akira, not Meijin…? Hikaru tried to remember where he had heard it before.

"There. The first move is the key."

Hikaru looked at the pattern, his heart starting up. This was more like it. He dived into the possibilities, seeing…something. He wasn't sure but it felt…he grabbed a stone.

A hand clamped down on his back the second Hikaru had let go of the stone and nearly made him destroy the pattern on the Goban. "Well, well…the kid is nearly as good as that brat to Touya! Pity Touya lost to me!" A big voice boasted from above.

Hikaru glanced up into the angry face of a tall, dark red-haired boy. He looked utterly intimidating.

"Kaga!" It didn't seem to affect the other boy though. He was getting up with hands clenched into tight fists.

"Relax Tsutsui. I'm only stating the obvious! He got it right, right? Let him have his beloved price!" Somehow Hikaru didn't think the tall boy thought much about the book or maybe it was the author…?

"Right," The boy, Tsutsui, unclenched his fists and gave Hikaru the book with an apologizing smile. "Here. You are really good. How long have you been playing?"

Hikaru grabbed the book happily, already imagining reading in it tonight, and then remembered a question had been asked. "Uh? Oh, thanks. I actually haven't played for years. I…like looking at problems." he replied nodding to himself, satisfied with his clever answer. It was mostly true too. It was only recently he had had chances to play for real, though he was thinking about finding more Go-salons and try again. Go-salons…? Touya Meijin's son…Hikaru shot the tall boy a surprised look.

"You beat Touya Akira?" The red-haired seemed ready to boast some more but Hikaru's next question stopped him short. "How good was he?"

It was Tsutsui who broke the silence with a splutter. "You don't know? He is the best of the younger players! He could be a Pro by now and probably will be soon if he take the Pro-exam this year, that is!"

"Oh," Hikaru looked at his new book thinking of the fun game "…that explains it." Maybe he should listen more closely to what Sai kept telling about the Go-world.

"Explains what?" the red-haired Kaga asked, impatience edging his voice.

Hikaru laughed offhandedly. "That the game against him was so tough. No wonder he beat me when he is aiming to become a Pro." He shrugged his shoulders. Another person who only breathed for Go.

"So you played him, did you?" The red-haired had a predatory smile on his face. It made Hikaru shudder. "I'll show you what a strong player is! Sit!"

"But…" Tsutsui tried to break in.

"Keep out, Tsutsui! This brat obviously need to be taught a lesson! Are you ready, punk!"

Hikaru huffed. "Who are you calling a punk? Take a look in a mirror some time!" He took the nearest Goke. "Nigiri!" he demanded.

"I don't think so. You just stick to black." Kaga replied coldly, unfolding a fan with a loud snap. His eyes burned into Hikaru, who went rigid at the challenge. He would make the older boy regret this!

Hikaru looked at the game so far with an incredulous stare. "You _beat_ Touya Akira?" he inquired while putting a stone down. If he had looked up he would have seen the angry vein in Kaga's forehead, but as it was he was too busy keeping track of patterns and paths and traps. Hikaru knew he lacked experience in real-life fights like these. His grandfather never missed a chance to tell him. Sai probably would have too, had he known. He couldn't afford to be distracted and definitely not against such a strong player. 'Cause Kaga was strong. No doubt about it. Just not **that** strong Hikaru was sure.

"Shut up, kid, and concentrate! Otherwise I'll throw you in the pool when you lose!" A stone slammed down stronger than necessary and made Hikaru flinch.

He shot his opponent a look and this time didn't let the anger intimidate him. He was actually getting used to it and could easily match the attitude. "That was never part of a deal!" he countered.

"It is now! Play!"

He had lost.

It had been close but he had lost. Whether from nerves or he simply wasn't good enough he couldn't be sure. He was glad he had escaped the pool but he wasn't sure if the substitute was any better. The wind jerked at him and sent a prickle of ice-needles down his spine…the pool would definitely have been worse. He looked at the scribbled paper and too big, black jacket of Tsutsui's. How could he get to a Go-tournament without letting any in his family know?

* * *

**…****be seen**

* * *

Hikaru had surprised Sai, utterly and completely.

For the first time in years he had not only said yes but practically volunteered to something concerning Go. Sai was thrilled and yet…couldn't allow himself to succumb to the feeling. Hikaru always seemed to back away if Sai showed a little bit of enthusiasm. So instead he settled for light acceptance, a smile, and focused on enjoying the event in itself. It had been wonderful. Of course being a Pro had forced him to leave Hikaru alone most of the time and it worried him slightly that Hikaru only seemed bored the few glimpses he got of him.

– And then on their way home Sai was astounded once more…Hikaru was smiling…! An oh so familiar smile yet Sai just couldn't put his finger on what exactly it told him.

Sai started paying a little closer attention to his younger brother.

It worked out fine in the first week then something changed.

Sai could actually pin-point the day it had started. It was the day of that school-festival Akari had invited him to. He had come home looking utterly glum. The day after that Hikaru wasn't home from school until dinner and he excused himself afterwards, going to a friend. Suddenly Hikaru was just as elusive to have a conversation with as their busy father.

Sai had tried questioning their mother about it and even though she seemed slightly worried she calmed herself saying "At least he tells me where he is going." Sai didn't dare suggest Hikaru could be lying and let the case rest.

"Fujiwara-san. Is something on your mind?" A gruff but calm voice interrupted Sai's line of thoughts.

Sai shook his head and turned his attention back to the game in discussion. "Sorry Touya-sensei. Just my baby brother. He…puzzles me."

The elder Go-player smiled a tiny bit, probably at the wording Sai figured. "A brother? How old is he?"

Sai sighed. "Twelve."

"Don't tell me the boy I saw at your house was your brother?" one of lower-dans present interrupted rather rudely.

Touya Meijin ignored it effortlessly. "That is quite a difference in age."

Sai shrugged having heard it many times before. "It is not unheard of. Besides I think my parents missed a child in the house." Sai chuckled lightly "I took the Pro-exam a year after and passed."

"You two look nothing alike!" the lower-dan tried again.

Sai contemplated his words. Again something he had heard often enough. "He just took after our father. - He doesn't even want to touch Go!"

The Meijin actually laughed at that. "I can see why that would puzzle you."

"So…" came the calculated voice of Ogata 9-dan "…we don't have to prepare ourselves for the arrival of a new Fujiwara?" Several of the lower-dans shuddered.

Sai shook his head carefully. "No. There will be no other Fujiwara." he said innocently, smiling wistfully. 'A Hikaru would have been nice though.' he thought to himself.

"I wouldn't mind a strong player like that. A rival to my Akira would prove useful but maybe he already found one. He has been abstracted as of late." The Meijin said meticulously. That ended the conversation and they returned to the game at hand.

* * *

"What are you doing this Sunday?"

The question surprised Sai. He had to think for a bit. "I have a study session at the association…Oh, and I think a class afterwards. I might as well go in early and study some of the old Kifus. It's been a while since I looked through Shuusaku's. Why?"

Sai studied Hikaru's face hoping to discover his reasons that way. "Nothing, nothing! Just checking." Hikaru scratched the back of his head grinning widely…from nerves or relief? Sai would say both. "Well, I'm off." And he was, sprinting out the door not to be seen again until dinnertime.

Sai was sitting in the dim light of the room of Kifu-collections, eyes skimming a brilliant game of Shuusaku then he remembered the question some days ago. Was there something special about today?

Sai read the game through to the end and decided it was enough for today. He loved Shuusaku's style and brilliance. It was from these old games he learned the most and it was noticeable in his Go. People called him the spirit of Shuusaku for a reason however teasingly.

He put everything in its right place and headed towards the room of the study-session. "You are doing it again." someone said before he reached the right door.

Sai turned his head to meet the dark eyes of one Meijin. "I apologize." he responded almost automatically.

"No need. What has your mind so occupied? Did you find an unknown game of Shuusaku?"

Sai shook his head absentmindedly. "I was just wondering if there is something special going on today. For schoolchildren…" The Meijin raised an eyebrow and Sai winced and wished he had unfolded his fan to cover up his embarrassment.

The Meijin seemed to think it over. "Akira hasn't mentioned anything. He is paying a visit to Kaio junior high today. The principal wished to see him before term-start, introduce him to the Go-club, show him the school-tournament going on today if I'm not mistaken."

"Isn't Akira-kun too strong for that kind of things?" Sai inquired as they entered the room. They were the first ones there.

"He is and will decline any offer very politely." The Meijin sounded very sure of this.

Sai sighed, wishing he had the same confidence in predicting the actions of one little brother.

Sai didn't know if he should be surprised then he made it home before Hikaru that day. The way things were going he guessed not.

There was something different about Hikaru though then he finally entered the kitchen that evening. Something off about him and Sai wanted to know what the brooding was about, so he asked.

Hikaru looked stricken, like a deer caught in the headlights. Their mother watched interested but obviously tried not to show it. Hikaru's eyes flickered around in something like panic. "I just went out and played with some friends." he finally said.

"That's no reason to be so down. Something bad happened?" Sai responded, hoping to get more than just disguised hints.

Hikaru dropped his gaze. "Someone showed up I wasn't prepared for. They ruined everything."

Sai looked at the way Hikaru's knuckles turned white grasping the chair. "Who?"

Hikaru mumbled a bit, then turned up the volume enough for Sai to hear. "One of my friend's older brother."

"The one going to Kaio?" their mother asked kindly.

Hikaru nodded and elaborated almost vehemently. "Going to Kaio, playing Go."

Of course Sai perked at that. "Oh..? Was he at that school-tournament today? Were you there? Did you see some of it?" All very innocent questions really. Sai couldn't help himself and he certainly hadn't expected the following explosion.

"Go! Go! Go! It's always Go! So what if I were! If it had been Shogi you wouldn't care to ask!" Hikaru looked at him fiercely, nearly shaking. Then he opted out and left with a scramble, the chair screeching against the floor, his plate still half full. Their mother shouted after him in vain.

Sai spend the remainder of the evening with a disturbingly guilty conscience and wondering how Hikaru had ended up at the prestigious school watching a school-tournament of Go.  
Did he even dare think it could be true?

* * *

**Author's note**: The rest of 'To see...'  
What to say...? - Kaga was a surprisingly hard character to get around but I hope I managed.  
The interaction between characters and especially Sai and Hikaru is a work in progress and I'm trying to make it seem natural without any idea of if it is actually working. Hikaru irritates me but he is somehow easier to write than Sai. More fun I think.

Oh well, feel free to comment.


	4. Suspicion and lies

It so happened that my brain caught up with this. The result being a much, much slower writing progress. In spite of the slow-down there are some good points: I can actually catch my breath, I know where the goal is and the story doesn't interrupt 'much' with my daily life. :)

To all of you who have reviewed, favoured or alerted this story: thank you.  
I feel a little bad for making people wait but it can't really be helped. I will never be able to promise any regularity in the regard of updates.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Hikaru no Go.

* * *

**Suspicion and lies**

* * *

Hikaru was having a bad day he decided then he went to bed on a rumbling stomach.

No, cut that. The whole week had been bad. All thanks to Kaga. Hikaru certainly wasn't cut out for secret-keeping. He reconsidered if the pool would have been any better but decided against it once again. He wouldn't have been able to play those three games of Go then. As soon as the thought was out he scolded himself heavily. He was just as bad as Sai. What a hypocrite.

Hikaru looked at his newly acquired book. It wasn't Kaga's fault. He could have just stayed away from the Go-stand. Which made him wonder…why had he not?

Certainly, a month ago he wouldn't even have been tempted to go near the place in broad daylight. What had changed? – And that game in the Go-salon? And that Children's tournament? – And…and…the wickedly grinning face of his grandfather was suddenly very clear in his mind…that game.

**There** was the problem. His grandfather had made him admit it and now he couldn't stop thinking about Go even then he wasn't supposed to!

He ground his teeth in annoyance. That did it! It wasn't a bad week. It was a bad month! Luckily it would be over soon and he could get his allowance back and start spending a little again. Without his consent his mind started calculating how many Go-salons he could enter for a month's worth of allowance. He grumbled at himself and turned a page in the book.

He was almost halfway through the first reading.

* * *

With a couple of days to spare before his school-start in Haze junior high Hikaru pocketed a 500 yen coin from his newly received allowance and grinned delighted.  
He bolted out the door without paying any regard to a surprised shouting Sai just coming home. He simply couldn't contain himself any longer. He had money and knew just the way to put them to the best of use.

Hikaru wasn't thinking. Surely if he had been he wouldn't have found himself bursting through the doors of the only Go-salon he had ever visited. His entry made every head in the vicinity look up and he stopped short, startled into reality.

He hesitated and then decided to go the rest of the way to the counter, fishing for the coin. He planted it confidentially down and grinned to the woman unable to keep his smile of victory from showing. She smiled back at him. "Nice to see you again. It's been a while." He nodded and wrote his name down, already scanning the closer tables for opponents.

He hadn't played since the disaster at the school-tournament and his fingers were itching to touch the Go-stones again. In that particular moment he couldn't for the life of him figure out how he had managed so far.

He didn't see Touya Akira anywhere and was actually happy about that. The boy's sudden appearance at the tournament had caught him completely off guard and he could easily do without the scrutiny of his intense stare for a while longer. He didn't understand the boy, couldn't see how one chance game against him and another game with a completely different boy could make him demand for a game more.

It wasn't like he had done anything special. He had played and won his three games and enjoyed himself while doing so. He had enjoyed himself so much that he had forgotten he wasn't supposed to be there and had been recognized, thereby getting them all disqualified. To top it off Touya had approached him afterwards asking for a game. Kaga had been furious at that. Hikaru hadn't been in the mood and had gladly let Kaga hustle them out of there.

Hikaru looked around and went for a random line of tables. He knew he shouldn't have come. He should have found another Go-salon instead but now it couldn't be helped.

One of the old men spotted him and sent him a chilling grin, beckoning him over with a wave of a hand. Hikaru neared only tentatively. The man looked kind of mean. "So you're the kid who played Akira-sensei? Care for a game with one more suited to your level?"

Sensei? More suited? In Hikaru's opinion he had played Touya Akira just fine…oh well, he definitely wasn't one to turn down a game. Not even if it was against a slightly scary old geezer. Hikaru managed a timid smile and sat down facing the man. The old man took a drag of his cigarette and grinned again. "The name is Kitajima."

"Shindou Hikaru. Onegaishimasu." Hikaru bowed his head as custom.

"Onegaishimasu."

It wasn't long before Hikaru felt frustration build. The old man took his time and played poor hands, - very poor hands. Hikaru had never played anyone quite like it. Admittedly, Hikaru hadn't played much until now but the kids at the school-tournament had been better than this!

Hikaru refrained from voicing his displeasure however and started making up ways to make the game more fun. Soon he had lured the old man into several battles all thorough the board and with an effort dragged and pulled him to midgame without yet getting a resignation. Hikaru had trouble keeping a satisfied smile from his face as the man once again put the stone just where he had intended.

"That's quite a game you got going there." Hikaru twirled his head around to meet the friendly eyes of a man many years younger than the other men at this place. He paled. There was something in those eyes that told him this was a Pro, an eagerness towards Go reminding of Sai's. Hikaru promptly turned his head back to the game.

"Yes, I am feeling lucky today, Ashiwara-sensei." the old man boasted happily.

The young man laughed good-naturedly. "Are you quite sure of that? To me it seems this young man has you figured out quite well."

Hikaru found himself under a considering gaze from the old man, then the gaze returned to the board with a thoughtful gleam. "I have played well…" the old man said a little apprehensiveness showing "…seen places to go I usually don't. – This isn't a teaching game!" he exclaimed and stared at Hikaru with something akin to angry defiance.

Hikaru frowned confused "I don't know how to play teaching games. I only spiced the game up a bit to make it more fun." He tried to rectify.

The old man spluttered somewhat incoherently and the young man laughed again.

That afternoon Hikaru played several games with the other costumers, the regulars, the young Pro Ashiwara called them. Ashiwara, as one of the students of the Meijin, came by often to play teaching games with them.

Hikaru pretended he didn't know anything about the professional world of Go and just took advantage of the chance to play. When he heard mention of the young Touya showing up within an hour Hikaru told them goodbye and left.

* * *

Hikaru reconnoitred the house with nerves on high alert.

He checked to find the kitchen completely abandoned, a note on the table telling him where his lunch stood easy to get in the refrigerator. The mother was visiting some friends and wouldn't be home before it was time to make dinner.

He didn't have to check for the father. He was as usually working. No surprise there, even if it was an early Saturday.

And Sai…Hikaru went to Sai's room, careful in stepping over the boundary that was the doorstep. Sai was away. Something about a weekend-long something with Go. No surprise there either. Sai could disappear for weeks on end if it was about Go.

Hikaru had half a day to himself and even though he would have usually went to a friend's place or maybe Akari's he had other plans. His hands were itching again. With him to the room he had brought one of Sai's Kifu and his new book. He wanted to see if some of this stuff made easier sense on a board.

Hikaru turned on the lights and looked around in something akin to awe.

The room was slightly dark and reminded Hikaru of a library with the big dark-wooded bookcases along most of the walls, bookcases crammed with books and papers on Go and probably Kifus too. On the desk in the corner lay a neat pile of papers and just between the made bed and the desk stood what he had come for, a Goban with two bowls on top. Nothing was out of place or the least bit untidy.

Hikaru closed the door behind him and treaded softly over the floor; he didn't dare make any sudden noise, and slid the Goban out from its place, feeling awkward and a little like a thief. There was a Goban in the living room too but Hikaru was afraid of getting caught in the act and up here he could mostly pretend to be coming from his own room, when someone came in the front door.

He sighed from the uneasiness and then sat himself in front of the board cross-legged and placed the two bowls within easy reach. He looked between the Kifu and the book, chose the Kifu and began placing stones in the correct order.

As the stones filled the board he felt himself relax and soon forgot everything else.

Hikaru pushed the Goban back in place and rose to his feet. He had succeeded in his quest without getting disturbed and felt quite proud about it but was also nervous and alert. It couldn't be long before his mother would be home. Something though kept him from leaving immediately.

He looked around, eyes skimming over the books and the papers. Curiously he fingered at the papers on the desk and unconsciously sat down in the chair.

It was Kifus. A lot of them. Some he had never seen in the magazines before, many of them written in Sai's hand but also some obvious copies of others. He felt an almost burning desire to go through them all, the way he had just played one on the Goban. The knowledge that he couldn't, hurt.

He searched the drawers for pencils and blank paper with a vague idea of copying just the first in the pile.

As the top drawer opened he gasped in surprise. What the drawer revealed was a foldable board and a closed bag which he just knew contained stones of both colours. He reached for it without thinking. This was his from a long time ago. His very own Goban even if it was a child's version and cheap and easy to break. It had been his and it still was he knew. Another survivor of the massacre, even though he didn't know how it had ended up in Sai's room.

He took it up and unfolded it on the tabletop to see how it looked. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with it. It looked just like he remembered, fairly new and practically unused, only a little chip in it from the one time he had dropped it on the floor. He folded it again and searched the rest of the drawers.

That evening he celebrated his finds by playing the copied Kifu out on the foldable board in his own room before going to bed.

His mother had never noticed where he had actually been when she got home and she only asked if he had handled himself well being home alone, to which he could truthfully say yes. His father came home early as it was Saturday and they had dinner together. All in all a very normal day.

After playing the game out Hikaru put the Kifu away in the box under the bed and hid the board and stones along with his two books behind the mangas. It was starting to get a bit crammed in there but it didn't show yet. Hikaru got under the covers and fell asleep. Never once did it occur to him that Sai might notice the absence of the board when he returned.

* * *

Hikaru was eating ramen and thinking, or rather devouring ramen and pondering the difficulty of finding more members to Haze's new Go-club.

Akari had joined, practically forcing her way in and Hikaru only settled with it at her promise never to talk about it outside of school. Hikaru still felt uneasy showing his interest in Go that openly and therefore prowled the school grounds in search of members before entering the science room half an hour late. Usually by then Akari and Tsutsui had engrossed themselves at the only Goban, Tsutsui teaching Akari the basics.

So far his search had proved fruitless. The girl from the volleyball-club had somehow gotten offended but Hikaru didn't dwell on it too long. She wasn't exactly a boy and it was a boy they needed to enter the school-tournament again. Hikaru would prefer it if they didn't get disqualified this time.

Then there was the new poster and the solved problem and that boy Akari had mentioned…Hikaru wondered if the boy had a reason too for not coming forth.

A word from outside Hikaru's enveloped mind tickled his ears and made him return to the outside world.

Had someone just mentioned a Go-salon? He didn't even realise he had asked until he got an answer.

Hikaru counted his money. It had been more than a week since last time, almost two. He had estimated his allowance to just barely reach to one visit to a Go-salon a week but he had used some on this delicious ramen. One, two, three and…two more in his other pocket. Hikaru released his breath. Five 100 yen coins.

Hikaru jumped up and followed the directions he had been given, never letting himself hesitate at the slightly scary entrance. Now he just had to hope for the price for children to be the same.

"Mitani!" Hikaru called out, eager yet a bit hesitant.

Mitani, who was the boy Akari had mentioned. Mitani, who played Go. Mitani, who apparently was strong. Mitani, who had cheated… Hikaru didn't know how he felt about that. Sai would have been outraged.

"What do you want?" The boy with bright orange hair and a slightly alternated school-uniform worn with quiet cool both looked and sounded annoyed.

Hikaru decided to ignore it and just throw himself at it. "You are strong, right? You should join our Go-club."

"Don't wanna." The rejection came fast and unfazed.

Hikaru huffed in indignation and frustration. "What? You would rather play for money against old geezers and cheat? Not even deserve the win?"

The glare Hikaru got for his outburst could almost match Kaga's but only almost. "I need the money." Mitani had turned away rather quickly, putting his shoes on shelf.

Hikaru hesitated. "How 'need'?"

Mitani shrugged his shoulders "I got stuff I'd like to buy." echoed words Hikaru faintly remembered having heard before.

Hikaru grinned "What's the need if you can play Go for free?" He clutched at Mitani's wrist and started dragging him off. "Just try it. It'll be fun! And we need you for the tournament." he exclaimed, completely deaf to the loud protests erupting behind him.

As they burst into the room sliding the door open with a big rattle Akari and Tsutsui looked up in startled surprise.

"I found our third player!"

Hikaru let neither Tsutsui nor Akari respond. They looked hesitant enough as it was, Akari already preparing to ask the disgruntled Mitani one thing or another. He dragged Mitani in front of their Goban and pushed him down in the seat. "Now, play me! You left before I got a chance yesterday." Hikaru said. Cutting through any chance at resistance he shot a Goke to Mitani and ordered: "Nigiri."

Still, Mitani wasn't a pushover. "What do I get for winning?"

Hikaru grinned and met Mitani's indifferent looking gaze. "**If** you win…" he emphasised the 'if' with great effort "…I won't bother you again."

Mitani narrowed his eyes and responded by digging into the stones in the bowl. Hikaru felt very gleeful as they decided colours. He was certain Mitani was stronger than Tsutsui and he had to admit he missed playing a strong player his own age.

Hikaru only saw the stones on the board. Nothing else existed, – and that was probably what saved him from Mitani's attempt at disqualifying him before they had barely gotten started. Hikaru waited for stones and played and the game progressed like it should, without any further cheating being involved, and as the game neared its end the victor was quite obvious. There was no need for counting territory at all.

Hikaru smiled delightfully and eyed his opponent mischievously. "Welcome to the club."

Mitani flinched and sneered in defiance but didn't say anything. Instead he prepared to leave but Akari interrupted cheerfully, asking for a teaching game. Hikaru knew from experience Akari was nearly impossible to turn down but right now didn't feel for pitying the orange-haired. He was still basking in the glory of getting a new member for the club.

Tsutsui took him a little to the side, eyeing their new member suspiciously. "He tried to cheat, Hikaru!"

Hikaru shrugged. He hadn't noticed any attempts and the game had been fair, he knew. He couldn't see a problem.

"You knew he was a cheater?" Tsutsui inquired further.

"I saw him yesterday in a Go-salon." Hikaru shrugged. "It doesn't matter. He won't do it again. Right, Mitani!"

Mitani looked up at Hikaru's boisterous voice and shrugged indifferently. "You'll never know." he answered with a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

Tsutsui didn't look at all convinced but Hikaru laughed. "Why should you? That would just be boring."

Then Hikaru showed up at the club the next day, Mitani was there demanding for a rematch.

* * *

Sai found himself in Hikaru's room on a whim.

Hikaru wasn't home yet so he was literally intruding and wasn't the least bit proud of himself for pulling a stunt like that. He tried to excuse it by reminding himself that Hikaru must have been in his room too but it wasn't working. Mainly his mind just couldn't believe the fact. Hikaru had shied away from his room since forever.

It couldn't be anyone else though. Only Hikaru wouldn't think twice about taking something originally his. The parents had certainly always respected the private life of their children.

So Sai was standing in the middle of Hikaru's room trying to figure out where his little brother would most likely put a foldable Go-board.

It was only to put his mind at ease, check if his suspicion was right. He wouldn't do or think anything else about it, he told himself firmly.

He gazed around, noting the slight mess from outspread papers on the desk to a couple of mangas beside the bed. It wasn't bad actually, he conceded, only not nearly as tight as his own room.

He had looked in the drawers already and it had turned up absolutely nothing. His eyes roamed the titles on the bookcase but it wasn't like it had room for much else. He turned to the bed. Really, the room didn't hold many hiding places.

Maybe Hikaru had just taken it back as an old toy and kept it in his toy box. Sai crouched down and peered in at the box beneath the bed. He really wanted to know, if for nothing else his peace of mind, but could he look without disturbing something and revealing his presence?

Sai didn't get any further in his musings. Feet trampled on the stairs and Sai shot up in panic.

The door burst open and Sai paled as Hikaru stood frozen in the doorway. He gaped. Sai stared. He desperately tried to think of a plausible excuse for being there.

"Sorry," he mumbled before Hikaru could find his voice "I was…looking for something…I don't know why I thought it would be in here…" It occurred to Sai that he was a terrible liar.

Hikaru still seemed to have forgotten how to speak and his flustered face from his exercise was turning awfully white. He looked more nervous than angry and Sai reasoned that maybe he was right and Hikaru had taken the board.

He nodded lightly to the boy. "I'm sorry for intruding" he said for good measure as Hikaru let him pass.

Hikaru only nodded in return, fidgeting with his schoolbag and never meeting his eyes.

'We are both terrible liars' Sai thought half-mortified as he escaped down the stairs.

* * *

**Author's note**: I did have one extra part in mind but figured it might as well go together with the next chapter.  
Mitani was worse to write than Kaga. Mostly because I didn't know what to do with the cheating.  
Oh, and even though I have read and seen 'Hikaru no Go' several times I have never played the game and don't understand the mechanics behind it too well, so for those who do I apologize if any games seem...weird. My main interest lies within characters and story.


End file.
